The lead upto my biggest score is a good ol story... its the story of the best 3 weeks of my life and it ended with one hellava bang....
First the beginning.....
As some of you may know I qualified as an actuary on the 12th December... it had been a long time coming and I was so relieved it was over and so happy actually... it is actuarial tradition that on results day the person or people that qualify buy champagne for the office and then spend the afternoon in the pub with others who passed some exams also... this did not seem appealing to me in the slightest whether I passed or failed and furthermore I did not intend to be a “traditional” actuary anyway.... so on with my planned adventure
To follow my faboulous 2007 Summer of Summers and my 07/08 Winter of Winters i had a groovy Summer of Semi Enlightenment and now it was time to kick the arse end out if 08 with my Winter of Cleansing... game on
My first flight was to Mumbai for a 2 hour stop over then a 3 hour connection to Bangkok... I upgraded the London Mumbai leg to business class as a qualification present to myself and it frickin rocked....
Then I had to catch a connection to Bangkok to Koh Samui where my transfer was waiting to wisk me to off by taxi and then speed boat to my favourite place on earth... the bay ... Had Tien on Koh Pan Yang... there is the Sanctuary and it really is... attached is the Welness centre where I did my second colon cleanse... I fasted for 9 days this time... drank clay 4 times a day... took 280 capsules of herbs and various potions to loosen the gunk inside me... it is all fairly unpleasant as is the afternoon colonic irrigation session.. but the massages, body scrubs, other treatments, steam room, beach, swimming in the sea etc etc... makes it bearable.... plus the truth is getting 5kgs or so of toxic sludge out of the body does make one feel quite wonderful....
I loved it just as much as last time... and met some really cool people... however due to an insane situation that had arisen I left the bay the day after my fast finished rather than 2 days after.... for those of you that know me ... and have half an hour to kill when we are hanging out... ask me to tell you the one about the actuary, the actress, the aussie, the arsehole and the alpha male.... its a cracker of a story really...
I so love the bay and cant wait till next time.... I love that I can make an annual pilgrimage to my health
Anyway I spent a glorious Christmas day and boxing day in Phuket with my dear friends...
Then off to LA for the Byron Katie new year’s eve mental cleanse... it was a 5 day seminar type thing.. kinda like the opposite of Jerry Springer... hard to describe and I don’t wanna sound like a mentalist in a cult but it was amazing just amazing .... blew my mind in a really good way.....
Then off to Vegas ... gotta have balance you know....
I arrive 6 ish on Thursday the 1st of January and head straight down to the poker room after checking into my room at Ceaser’s... enter the 7pm tourney for $140 .... There was a real dick at my table... He even said to me “ when you grow up you will learn that slowplaying is stupid”... shame that my turn raise after the flop float was pure bluff and not a slowplay at all.... but I made a mental note to consider his advice at a later time...
I busted fairly early... early enough to leg it to the Venetian and get myself into their 7pm tourney just before the end of the first hour... I lasted a couple of hours which is good considering i started with an M of 12 ish.... nothing spectacular to report on either of these tourneys... played well enough I think but just didn’t get any traction... I did notice how much more in the game I was and that my mind was just not wondering so much... I was watching the action in hands I wasn’t involved in like a hawk,,,, I liked this.... good discipline... now come on poker gods shine your light on me tomorrow
I woke up at 3 am on Friday 2cnd January and headed down to the poker room... I got myself in a 1-3 NL cash game and faired ok given its not a game I play ... I made my $220 last two hours ... after the mad Mexicans arrived all stinking of booze and white crusted nostrils I thought I was gonna get easy money... but although they donated a hellava lot they gave nowt of it to me... instead I endured a heavy beating from the river card throughout the session and finally pushed my last hand declaring “double up or bust ... this be my last hand”... I got called by the big blind... when his KTs beat my KJo he called me a donkey... which I am not sure I understand....
I then played the 9am tourney which cost $65 to enter and I managed to double my stack and then double it again and then spunk it all away ... all in 40 minutes... gotta love poker....
Then the big one... the Friday noon tourney was always gonna be my main play of the trip... i decided on the Caesar’s mainly coz I didn’t really wanna play the Bellagio 1k... the Venetian was only $150 buy in and both those casinos’ card room were not 3 minutes from my room... also the Caesar’s tourneys are not so cool with the 4 crowd which makes it less full of sharks, semi sharks and annoying twats who berate you for all sorts of stuff you don’t wanna hear whilst tapping the aquarium... so Caesar’s it was .,... game frickin on....
The cost was $340 including the $10 addon for the dealer pool... we started with 12500 chips and with 80 entrants there were 1 million chips in play.... bring it baby
The first 3 levels were a total disaster... nothing I did worked.. I could just not connect with a flop... I bled down to 8k fairly quickly and then had to sit on my hands for most of the second hour... then just before the 1st break...(blind levels were 40 minutes and 10 min breaks every 3 levels ie 2 hours) I played a hand that has changed how I view myself as a poker player... I had a pair of aces... and flat call a MP raiser from the cutoff... the big blind calls and we all see a T high flop...the action goes check check and I bet the pot which leaves me with about 5k....the big blind pushes and MP calls... both have me covered... I insta fold knowing I am beat by at least one of em... I would not have made this play previously even though I “know” to... especially online... BB has a set and MP hits his Q on the turn to take it away (he had QQ)... this made me very happy... I only had 15 big blinds but I didn’t care.. I was still in it.. and I could still win it...
I ran up to my room on the first break and was now down to 4k... I had a wee... crunched the numbers for the next 3 blind levels and shouted “you can do it” in the mirror... then ran back down to have missed the first hand... dammit... in the first orbit with 10bb I raised to 3 times the bb from UTG +1 with the intention of calling any push... I got my push from the hijack and was so not fazed by his KK... The flop bought my A and was back in it...
within that third hour I worked it up to 20k ... hey hey...
a proud moment was when I got a blue chip back... we all started with one blue in our stacks... blue were worth 5k and I had had to sell mine for smaller chips when times were hard... now I was giving change to a fu.cker down on his luck....
Once I got to 26k it was time to order food so I asked for a menu... I was gonna be here sometime and needed some energy... I had worked up my stack with mostly ducking and weaving... During the dry bad spell I had moaned and moaned.. made people laugh with my self deprecation and made sure they all knew I was folding every hand for the hour... in live play it takes a lot to lose a tight image... no one wants to tangle with the “tight guy”....now I was ducking and diving.. c-betting and double barrelling with jackshite... did hit a set which I got to show down and bet sized all streets exactly as I had been running my bluffs....now things were working perfectly and they were about to get a whole lot better......
the menu came... I did not need to read past the first item “matza ball soup” ... cosmic... not just that but when it came it was just like my grandmother’s... I really nearly cried... amazing....needing to eat the soup made me quieten down a lot which I really needed to do anyway
halfway through my soup disaster strikes... the table breaks... I try to remain calm... i was so enjoying the soup and I so had my finger on the pulse of the table... i didn’t want to break ... I even had a tight image.. dammit...
I was asked as we were breaking.... “hey are you superstitious?” ... to which I replied “nah I think its unlucky to be superstitious”
I first move my chips in a rack to the new table... I am in seat 1 which I hate... I can never see the seat 10 and seat 9 is hard to see... the 10 seat is horrible for the same reason... not happy.... go back to my old table and start pushing the little table on wheels that holds my soup... this is gonna take to long so I pick the thing up and pace it over to the new table... phew... but wait... where the f is my blue chip? You gotta be kidding me.... I go back to the old table... and then back to the new one... terrible sinking feeling... dammit... my blue chip....
I go back to the old table once more and just stand near by and give it ....”ANY ONE SEEN A BLUE CHIP”... a guy at the table beside my old one turns round and gives me a blue chip and says “there you go ... it was on the floor” WTF??
Anyway big phew,... that was looking like it was gonna tilt me severe...
I settle in.... then its fun and games... the table was obscenely passive and what with there being antes now I went for it... I played 20 out of 25 hands in the fourth hour... raise em raise em ... raise em.... never once did my bet size preflop change...not once... it was always exactly 2.5 times the big blind... every single time... I was winning 3 out of 4 of them preflop so it was just massively profitable preflop alone.. I went from 60k to 160k in the fourth hour... most of it from chipping chipping chchhchchchchipping away... plus the c-betting was so profitable too wahoooo ... it seemed like every time I was played back at I had it... I put the fear into those guys and I loved it...
I got to use my favourite trick.... its called the fake rush... the thing it seems is that folk sitting at poker tables believe in lucky streaks... if they think you are on one then they will avoid you and only play their best hands against you... this make it very easy when in a fast tournament ... he who steals the most wins in the end... so what you do is ... win a couple of good hands... or show that you stole the blinds with AA ... just make it known you have hit a couple of hands....then wait for a raise and a reraise preflop and pretend you have a big hand.... then uhmmm and awwwww... now this is especially effective if you usually make instant decisions (which you should aim to do anyway coz it freaks people out).... so you make a “painful lay down”... the other two get all in with AK and JJ say... you wait for the flop and as it hits you say “ dammit I had nines” when the flop is T93 say... you get the idea... then a few hands later you say to the guys to your left (the most important ones really coz its there blinds that are gonna make you rich) “wow wow wow... I had J4 that hand” when the flop comes J44... the aim is to make people believe that you are on a lucky streak... it makes your job of robbery and whole lot easier... I like this trick and hope to refine it more and more...
Break time... run to room... now I am not the shortstack... I am the chip leader and we are just about half way... crunch numbers for next three blind levels... have a wee.... shouted in the mirror “you can do it”... somewhat louder than the first time and made myself laugh... tee hee....
Run back.... game frickin on....
I had a few knock backs after the break... and it just wasn’t going so right so I took some time off and watched the table just groove on... it seemed to me there were some good poker players but they were mostly playing a solid TAG game... no one was chipping up... making a move or doing anything other than sticking their ficking rod in the water and wating.... waiting... I decided that my post break dent was just down to running into good hands and they weren’t playing back at me... so I went on the rampage once more...
I was totally ruthless... 2.5× pre and 40% of pot post. ... sometimes I went passive.. I checked down a AK hand that I had raised preflop... this raised several eyebrows... I actually lost this hand...but it got them thinking and doubting... maybe I was hitting my hands and not robbing... they didn’t know... and it was my job to keep em guessing... I now had a whole pile of blue chips and this made me really happy....
The table was making standard raises of 5 or 6× which made restealing a dream really... i called one of these over bets in the big blind with 73o and called a ting flop bet and tiny turn bet and a massive pot sized river bet on a KT74T board (not sure about that 4... it could have been a 5 or a 6)....I beat the bettors AQ and this made them mutter at the table... even better what happened the very next orbit... I raise 2.5× from MP2 with JJ... the button shoves... I would normally instacall here... I had like 160k and he had 40k... now I am so not sure... his body language is all “come on then”.... I ask for a count... I look at my stack... and as soon as the dealer says 36 thousand more to call.. I look up at the button sharply... his face shows no fear at all... now I am thinking... I can not possibly fold JJ preflop for only 25% of my stack.. I would still be chip leader at my table... hum how let it go... I fold them face up and the button looks amazed... he slams his kings face up on the table and looks at me scornfully... this gets the table buzzing... and the comments range from “he is just being lucky” to “he is playing us all”...
I am buzzing... I am sooooo in the moment... looking straight at people when the board cards come and then looking at the cards... I am jiving and ducking... its how I have always wanted it to be...
I remember once seeing John McEnroe being interviewed and he described how one time at the Wimbledon final he could do no wrong... it was like it was in slow motion and the ball and racket were huge... he simply couldn’t lose... mostly he said it was a grind to win but this time it wasn’t ....
Well that was my day like that... I was like a hot knife through butter... there was no doubt and no noise in my head... it was all so clean...
Liked it....a lot... I was so in the moment... this tournament... this hand this moment... this time....
I raised from MP1 with 98hh and got called by the BB ... the flop comes T76 all hearts... bingo ... flopped the straight flush... la la la... lets see if I can get all his chips... he looks back at his cards and looks at me... I smile at him... he does not smile at me... but sighs.... he checks... I check.... turn... 5 of hears... now I have a six long straight flush and I am the biggest dude in Babylon... for one night only baby....
He checks ... I check....
The river is a blank... well does it really matter... .he bets 30k leaving him 10k behind... I say “ermmm al in”.... he calls and flips the K of hearts.. “you have the ACE buddy”... I flip the 9 and he goes “yes”... I flip the 8 and the table laughs... I am now walking on water.... lets get this partay started....
A couple of orbits later I defend my big blind vs a 4× hijack raise with a push... he has 66k and I have 200k ish....he flips KK dammit... I have QJo... flops comes KT3.... he goes “yes” the “no” then he looks at me and I raise my eyebrows... then the turn is A .... hahahahahahaha.... some one shouts “there it is”... river Q and I win...
I sit down and the bloke on my left who I had been chatting with and who was quite a decent player tells me “there was no need for that” ... I thought it was a fine play at the wrong time with a marvellous outcome... I made a mental note to consider his advice at a later time... After crunching some numbers I believe i made a good move and he is prolly right in a cash game context deep but I dunno ... big blind did have like 20 blinds... but hey whatever... still think that's right.... especially when I am on a lucky streak
I lost several hands where I as 60% or better to win against small stacks... but this is the power of the big stack because they then go against you light thinking that they can get you and you snap em off when the time is right....
The guy in the 10 seat for ages had a massive stack when I arrived at the table but had played so tight he was no 15 or big blind.... he then started pushing once or twice an orbit.. either first in or vs one limper... he had a really reliable tell that told me that he didn’t want to play me post flop... and that tell was he kept saying just after he pushed “I don’t wanna play post flop against this guy”
I then decided through a bit of mental number crunching that I was instacalling and pair 88 and up... any Ax with x ten or up... KQ s probably and I would need to think about A9 and A8.... the pisser was I couldn’t really see him except if I leant forward so I could see him around the dealer... and this would just alert him to the fact that I was eyeballing his ugly face and he could easily counteract by leaning back....
No need to stress though because a couple of orbits after I discussed this in my head I snap called him with AT and beat his A6s and wished him a very nice 2009.....
By the time there was 3 tables left I had 15% of the chips... by the time it was 2 tables I had 20% ... this was my day...
The second last table was so passive as it was essentially a bubble with only the top 9 paying... It was back to business as usual...
The conventional wisdom is that in fast ish tournys you should identify the weak players and pick on them... this can be ramped up by terrifying the good player and turning them into nervous wrecks... then they are all weak players and you rob and steal and never ever relent... fold when you need to but.... raise first in every time unless you have a very good reason not to.... this is how I played the last two tables... and as it went shorthanded I truely went into overdrive... and they just tightened right up... like a hot knife through butter... why cannot it always be like this?
By the time the third break came it was just about final table time... I had 30% of the chips... I called the shark to get him to tell me I could do it... when he didn’t answer I ran to my room... crunched the numbers for the next 3 blind levels... had a wee and shout “ you can do it” in the mirror ... ran back down....
When we got back it was 5 handed at my table and 6 at the other... i thought we had just got to 10 before the break....
Finally we were final table.... it was at my table but there was a seat redraw and I got .... the 10 seat... dammit....
Game on though... welcome to MY final table ladies and gentlemen... the TAG old lady from my first table was there as was the over confident Maria in the 1 seat..
I chatted in Hebrew to the Israeli guy in the 9 seat to my right... and then chatted in Afrikaans with two south Africans railing... I can get by in these two obscure languages... couldn’t talk my way out of trouble in them but can order food or get directions... listen to the news and explain how it is I came to be able to talk these languages....
So I get asked “how many languages do you speak?” .... my reply was “12 but Latin and ancient Aramaic are extinct so 10 really”
Ha ha ha ha
Lets be having you... nothing really that memorable to report from the final table... I just chippend and chipped away... lost a fairly big pot all in prelfop with my TT losing to A6... anyway... never mind....
From 5 players down they started discussing a chop... all deals were “he gets first prize money and we discuss the rest”....
Ha ha ha
I like them deals... and although they never made one I always got to see who was still fighting and who was waiting for me to put them out of their misery,,,, by the time it was 4 handed I had 60% of the chips...
When it was 3 handed I restole from the small blind with nothing and the button folded AJo face up... how terrible is that?......
Anyway... at about 5 handed it was break time and the charming and delightful Wade off this board introduced himself and we chatted... I didn’t goto my room but crunched the numbers really quickly and Wade bought me a coke....
Back in there and it was only an hour after the break and it was me vs Maria... I had 920k and got Wade to take a photo....
Then I had a flashback to that time that Man U were down 1-0 to B Munich in the champions league final and the BM players were showboating.. waving to fans and posing for photos.. then they lost by a Man U 2 late goals rampage.... this snapped me right out of it and took my phone back and focussed on Maria... she and a little ickle stack that was mine within 10 hands... I got her all in with AKs vs QTo
And game over... and wahooooo what an end to my winter of cleansing.... bring on the WSOP.....
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